Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Should men be present at the birth of their child?

In 73 days, (or there abouts!) a momentous occasion will occur. A once in a life time occasion. A presumably PAINFUL occasion. I will give birth to myself and Mr C's first born. Who will be there to witness this joyous occurance? Without a doubt... myself (obviously!) and Mr C. 

Another reason I want it to be me and Mr C is because it is OUR baby. Half mine, half his. We both created him so it makes complete sense that we both see him enter the world at exactly the same time. A few generations ago, men just dropped their wives off at the hospital! The closest involvement in the labour process a man had was if they were there, pacing the hospital corridors or wetting the baby's head. Call me selfish but there is no way on this Earth that I would allow Mr C to be in the pub nursing a pint of Fosters whilst i'm experiencing the most horrific pain i've ever felt! No bloody way at all! He got me into this so he's going to be there to take the abuse and hold my hand!
Research in these articles completely contradict my decisions though. Over half of these women (in the same survey as above) believed their baby’s father would be ‘unable to cope with the stress of the situation’, and nine per cent feared that their partner would be unable to empathise with the pain of childbirth. Tough. Sorry to all those males out there but it's the woman that is enduring all that pain so Mr C's ability to 'cope with the stress' will be the last thing on my mind! He was man enough to put the baby there, he can be man enough to see it out!
I'm not asking Mr C to be at the business end watching the full gorey goings - on but I do expect him to be there, sat beside me; holding my hand and supporting me through the what I expect to be the hardest task of my life. Surely that's not too much to ask, is it?
According to another article; 'the results of the 15-year study have surprised scientists. Women supported by a female friend during labour were half as likely to have a Caesarean delivery.They were 60 per cent less likely to ask for an epidural, 40 per cent less likely to require forceps and the duration of labour was reduced by a quarter.' Maybe i'm wrong expecting Mr C to be there. Maybe I'll change my mind and demand my mum to be there when the pain gets too much. I don't know as yet, i've not experienced it yet.

One thing of which I am certain though; Mr C wouldn't miss it for the World. When asked if he'd prefer not to be there, he looked at me like I was barmy. He says it will be the greatest day of his life, the moment we welcome our son TOGETHER. Yes he may be a bit queezy with the blood and gore, he may possibly faint and I may never be able to look at him again if he sees me poo(!) haha but all these things are irrelevant. At the end of it, I will have given him the greatest gift possible... His child.

I will follow up this post once i've given birth and let you all know how I (and Mr C!) coped. I wonder if I am making the right decision banning by mother from the delivery suite?

Who was present at your labours?

Who was most help?

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