Friday, 1 June 2012

How Important is Marriage?

As Beyonce says: 'If you like it then you shudda put a ring on it' and this is something that i've been deliberating for a while now. Should Mr C have put a ring on it? Now, I know Mr C peeks at my blog sometimes so before the warning lights begin to flash, don't worry darling; i've not turned into a bunny boiler over night!

We've been together three fantastic years. We have our own house, a joint bank account and a son on the way but I can't help but wonder whether something is missing; a joint surname. Would things be different if, instead of being Miss B, I was Mrs C? It's something that's never bothered me before but as the DD gets nearer and nearer, I find myself worrying that our son will be a 'C Jnr' whilst I will still be Miss B. Would we be more of a family unit if we had the same name?

We have spoke about getting married before. Many times. Mr C says 'one day.' He says this about a lot of things... painting the kitchen, mowing the lawn, changing the toilet seat. If any of these tasks are to go by, I could be waiting a lifetime! But at the end of day, does it really matter?

I was never one of those little girls that dreamt of Prince Charming & a princess wedding; I was way too busy climbing trees and scuffing my knees. I know girls that have folders dedicated to their weddings before they are even engaged... hell, some women have their wedding dresses before they've even bagged the bloke!

We are perfectly committed to each other, I trust him and love him with all of my heart and up until recently, I didn't believe a ring on my finger would change anything. I am in no way anti-marriage. Both sets of our parents have been happily married for a number of years so we've both been brought up with role models of how a relationship should be. But I still wonder, can't we still experience life long committment even if we haven't been down the aisle?

Mr C's mum recently told me that marriage changes everything. Now, I'm not married and I can't see how anything would change if we were to spend a small fortune on one day but what if I'm wrong? I can't make that assumption though as i've never been married. Do things really change? Would I feel different if I had a rock on my finger? I honestly don't think i'll know until we do wed.

The only thing that makes me want to get married is sharing a surname. I like the unity that that brings and I would want people to know that, I am baby C's mum. We are all the 'C Family.'
I dread filling in a permission form or writing his absence letters and having to sign them 'Miss B' rather than Mrs C, but is that any reason to get married? I love Mr C with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with him but I just don't know whether marriage is the be all and end all.

Obviously, deliberate as I will,  the decision lies with Mr C. It's another 4 years till a leap year and i'm certainly not going to be the one doing the asking! But what if things aren't any different and we've spent the best part of 20k on one day? I think that instead of the romance, I have allowed myself to get caught up in the politics. Should we be married? Is it the right thing to do? Would it make us better parents?

In my heart, realistically, I don't think it really matters eitherway. As Mr C says, maybe 'one day.' But until then, our son will be loved whether his mummy and daddy share a name or not. We will all be deliriously happy. He'll have stability and security regardless of whether i've got a ring on my finger or not. We will all love each other with all our hearts, and ultimately, that's all that really matters.

1 comment:

  1. Women today say practically the same thing you have reiterated here. It's completely normal to be thinking about this stuff especially since you are pregnant. Marriage is an institution that is there to protect women and families. NOT SAYING your guy is 'one of those guys' but marriage does give security in case things go wrong. And you and me know how many women have been left in the lurch and have to start all over. If you two are happy and committed then what is holding you back? You have a beautiful baby on the way. You don't have to drop 20 thousand, have a small intimate ceremony. In the end, it does matter, everyone deserves to have a celebration of love with their true love. Don't down play how beautiful the union of marriage is. Things will change but hey that's life.

    - Mud puddle