Thursday, 17 January 2013

Dear Mr Sainsbury...

Good Evening Mr Sainsbury,

I am taking the time to write this letter to vent my actual frustration. I would much prefer to be sipping my wine, or at least my hot chocolate as I climb into my bed but needs must and I feel that I need to vent; and you sir, you're the 'ventee'.

Unfortunately for you (and my long suffering 'partner' Mr C) I am climbing up high onto my soap box and have taken to my favourite past time, having a rant. The long suffering partner has taken to hiding behind the couch so he doesn't have to listen. He'd sit in the garden but it's snowing; anything to save the earache he says. He's taken a Carling can with him so I'm hoping that I haven't single handed-ly drove him to alcoholism.

So Mr Sainsbury, it's up to you to listen. Count yourself lucky you don't have to live with me. Apparently it's a 'mean feat'. Don't get me wrong, I love your store. I love your chocolate fudge cake. I don't love how it makes my jeans tight and I didn't love the incident when consuming too much made the button ping off my jeans but I do love the fact that I am always lucky enough to find a bargain when I shop in your store. I also love the omelette's you sell in your cafe.

But Mr Sainsbury,  I DO NOT LIKE YOUR PARENT & CHILD PARKING. To a mother with an exceptionally heavy baby who resides in an exceptionally large car seat and the unfortunate mishap of owning a 3 door car, that is a big thing not to like.

In an ideal world I would have my own space. It would be conveniently located right outside the store and permanently reserved for me, preferably under a cover so my hair wouldn't get wet running from car to store and vice versa. The long suffering partner says I expect too much too much of the time. This may be one of those times so I'd happily accept another P&C space along with the other parents.

Although come to think, I'd quite like someone to push my trolley as I have a frequent habit of picking one with a dodgy wheel and I spend the whole time sounding like I have extreme flatulence because of a squeaky wheel. If you could fix that for me, I'd be eternally grateful.

Whilst I'm walking around your store, I am usually trolley dodging a number of wayward, on-the-run children who are making a dash for the overpriced ride which is conveniently (and annoyingly) located near the exit to tempt our children to have a tantrum when we are feeling smug that we have got through an entire shopping trip with no problems. Don't get rid of it though; I use it to bribe my niece into behaving when she comes shopping with me. What she doesn't know is that I never have a pound coin and the poor child sits on the ride whilst I dance around making it as fun as possible without it actually moving. 

With all these children, it makes sense that the majority of your customers are parents. Therefore, common sense would prevail that you would need more than six P&C spaces within your car park. P&C spaces have been a god send since becoming a mother 4 months ago. That is, when I can find one.

P&C spaces mean that I have extra room at the side of the car to take my son out of the car. They provide me with the space to assemble my pram in a safe zone rather than in the middle of the car park because luck'll have it that I'll have forgotten to put the brake on and as I turn my back to lock the door, my pram is rolling down the car park.

They also mean that I do not have to scratch the paintwork on the 62' plate Audi that is, always, without fail parked right next to me when there is only one space left in the car park hence saving me an argument which I usually blame on my pregnancy hormones. (Do you still have pregnancy hormones four months after birth?) It also saves my son having to grow up with the prospect of hearing every possible expletive known to man because his lousy driver mother can not get into a normal sized parking space.
What would also make my life easier is if you patrolled and enforced these spaces. The reason I need a M&C space is not because I'm too lazy to walk; it's because I need the extra space either side of the space. For mothers with two children, it means that they have somewhere safe to stand whilst they are getting their other child out the car, meaning that they are not venturing off across the busy car park in search of that god forsaken ride.

Does a mother with a 12 year old 'child' need this extra space? Does a 17 year old boy racer who has come to stock up on his White Lightening and Clearasil need this extra space? I think you'll agree not.

If I was to park in a disabled bay, I would receive a hefty fine. Why does the same not apply for people who violate the rules of P&C spaces?

My local Sainsbury's is patrolled by a car park attendant and the other day, I proceeded to vent my issues with him. I told him that Clearasil kid was parked in a P&C space and he went on to tell me there is nothing he can do as Clearasil may have been picking up a child. The reason he couldn't do anything was because he was playing Angry Birds on his phone. I'm almost certain Clearasil hadn't even reached puberty yet, never mind fathered any mini Clearasil's.

How about you sack the Angry Bird attendant and invest the money in more P&C spaces. You could even donate some to my 'bigger car' fund so I could afford a 5 door car, making it easier for me to get my car seat out. It would save a whole load of earache for Mr C (and the Audi drivers) and it'd mean that I'd be at your store much more often buying that delicious fudge cake of yours.

Let me know your thoughts. 
Kind Regards

Jess  xx

P.S - I accept cash, cheque and card donations towards my 'bigger car' fund, if you were wondering.

Disclaimer: I haven't actually sent this letter to Mr Sainsbury, instead he will have the pleasure of reading a 'grown up' letter with lots of big words; written in my bestest Parker pen, in a hope of receiving lots of Nectar points, or possibly free fudge cake for life!

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree there should be a crack down on these spaces as people really take the mickey! A empty carseat in the car doesn't mean you can park there. Unfortunatly this world has selfish people in but im glad im not one of them as would never do it when on my own or in the future.