Friday, 18 January 2013

15 things nobody told me about becoming a mummy.

1. That I would be urinated on, alot. Infact numerous times every day.

2. That I wouldn't mind. Urine, sick or even worse, poo; wierdly enough it doesn't bother me.

3. That lovely shiny pregnancy hair? No one told me that it'd fall out in clumps. In fact, just the other day, Mr C said "your hair WAS lovely and shiny when you were expecting". That man has no tact.

4. That you would know the words to every theme tune on Cbeebies and every nursery rhyme ever invented. What's worse, they seem to stick in your head like glue and you spend hours aimlessly humming them.

5. That all those piles and piles of expensive clothes you bought are useless. They grow so fast that you end up with bags full still with tags!

6. That even though you know they've got too many clothes, you still insist on buying more, simply because they are 'cute'. You walk around in last seasons Primark whilst your child is proudly sported designer chic.

7. That no matter how old they are, everything takes an hour longer than it did pre-child.

8. That no matter how old (or young) they are; they needs lots of 'stuff'. What this 'stuff' is, I'll never know but packing it is what takes that hour longer.

9. That you'll find bibs EVERYWHERE. In every pocket, in every drawer, there will be a bib.

10. That you can never find said 'bib' when you need one.

11. That poo I was talking about in #2? It gets everywhere. For a tiny little person, they don't have go. It always happens at the most convenient times as well, i.e, whilst they are wearing their last change of clothes which happens to be a white baby grow whilst your 20 miles from home.

12. That you forget the pain of labour. Hell, I remember it as a walk in the park. According to Mr C, it wasn't but it as if your body is trained to forget so you can go through it over and over again.

13. You never forget your pre-pregnancy boobs. You will mourn for them as they are never the same again. Think spaniels ears. Only me?

14. You won't mind the fact that your size 10's are a distant memory. (Actually, I haven't been a size 10 since I was about 12 so this doesn't apply to me!) 

15. That you will experience a love you have never felt ever before. Excuse the cliché but it is a love so deep that sometimes it hurts. Like a little piece of your heart that you've never experienced has suddenly flooded open and you know what, no one could have ever told me that; because its undescribable. 

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