Sunday, 13 May 2012

For the first time...

It sounds cliche... nauseating even but seeing our baby for the first time, I felt complete and utter elation. In fact, scrap that, elation doesn't cover it. It's a feeling that I couldn't even comprehend describing but as a mother or father, you'd know exactly what I was feeling.

As a complete hospital phobe, admittedly I was petrified, selfishly for myself and the prospect of becomming a human pin cushion but also for the baby. Would he/she be ok? Would they have two heads? Would there even be a baby there? As stupid as it sounds, because they'd not confirmed my pregnancy at the doctors, I was terrified that we'd get to the hospital and they'd tell me I wasn't even pregnant!

That moment of seeing our baby wriggling about on the screen, it made me realise and appreciate everything my own mother had done for me and how much I was loved by my own parents. It made me fall that little bit deeper in love with Mr C and I will forever be greatly thankful for this gift that we'd both created.

I felt a love that I'd never experienced before and a complete and utter devotion to this little bean that was growing inside of me. I was determined, he/she wouldn't want for anything. Mr C was determined that he/she would play for Liverpool, be a professional golfer, a doctor, a child genious... so many dreams and he/she wasn't even born yet!

We'd chosen to keep the pregnancy quiet until after this scan. The only people that knew beforehand was my parents (the day before the scan!) & my friend, who's a midwife. Other than that we'd made the decision to make sure everything was ok before we broke our exciting news!

I think it was this point where it really sunk in. I was very lucky that apart from the odd tiredness, I never really felt 'pregnant'. I managed to avoid the usual plagues of the first trimester; especially and thankfully, the sickness therefore seeing this little life on a screen bobbing about, it finally dawned... I was a MUM!

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