Tuesday, 11 February 2014

My Dental Phobia & Anxiety Issues

This is something that has plagued my life for a significant while now and after 'coming out' on Twitter earlier, I've felt empowered to write about it publicly. 

I am scared of the dentist. More than scared, terrified even. Now it's beginning to affect my day to day life, I'd go as far as to say it's a phobia. 

I stopped going at around age 9 or 10. My Mum said I was simply too terrified so she stopped taking me. That was it. She gave up on the problem and now, 15 years later, I am left to deal with it. I feel slight anger toward her for abandoning the issue but I understand why she did it and as an adult and a parent myself, it is my responsibility to ensure that I overcome this and my son isn't affected by the same ill fate. 

Until around 5 years ago, ignorance was the best option for me. I was blasé about the importance of oral health, lived on takeaway food, drank my bodyweight in sugary alcoholic drinks every weekend and smoked an unhealthy amount of cigarettes on a daily basis. Health wasn't my priority. 

As I've got older and have become a mother, I've began to realise my responsibility to Freddie and I'm determined that he won't live in fear like I have. I want to be able to take him to regular appointments six monthly where he feels at ease. I want him to think that his Mummy is scared of nothing. His super hero. Afterall, how can I keep him safe if I'm scared too?

It's got to the point where my fear is threatening to dominate my life. It's taking a hold of my self-esteem and attempting to screw it into a ball of shattered dreams. I want to be confident. 

We have a wonderful life. We're very lucky. I know this and appreciate every day for all it's worth but I'm beginning to resent having this fear on my shoulder on a daily basis.

I want to be free. I am me, holding me back from being me at my best. 

Of course I'm not going to be there overnight. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I am going to take that step.

Wish me luck.

1 comment:

  1. I agree that it was wrong for your mother to give up rather than help you overcome your dental phobia. It’s good to know that you’re not planning to repeat that mistake, in case you get into the same situation with your son in the future. Anyway, back to your own fear, it’s about time that you do something about it. I know it won’t be an easy task, but I’m glad to know you are more than willing to try. I wish you luck on that journey!

    Bettye Primm @ Back Mountain Dental