Saturday, 2 February 2013

For you, Freddie: 5 months x

My gorgeous Freddie,

My beautiful, breath-taking, wonderful boy. We are now into your fifth month and I can barely believe that this time five months ago, we spent our first night together.

I remember it well; the most surreal night of my life. I'd not slept properly for two days and suddenly found myself in a postnatal ward with my new baby, a matter of hours old. I'd rarely spent a night away from Daddy since we met so when he had to leave, we both shed a few tears. I had just given birth to his first born son and now, he had to leave. I was horrifed at the prospect that I had to look after you and deal with your horrendous tar like poos! Before I had you, I didn't have much responsibility so being all alone with you with the responsibility for your whole life was bloody terrifying!

Daddy had to go home on his own and prepare the house for your arrival. I wanted him to mop the kitchen floor as I was worried that the health visitor would think negatively of us if it wasn't cleaned! He said it was the longest night of his life; every hour was spent counting down till 8am when he could come back and see you.

Meanwhile, we spent our first night together in the hospital. Considering i'd never properly looked after a baby, I was absolutely petrifed at the prospect of looking after you. Although i'd not slept for 48 hours and I was running solely on addrenaline, I sat all night and watched over you. I stared at your tiny chest rising with every breath and just waited for you to need me. I was adamant I shouldn't sleep as you may have needed me during the night so I watched Mamma Mia on repeat. When I watch it now, I smile. It will always remind me of that night, the night when I met my son and we spent time alone.

Since my last letter to you, we have been battling the chicken pox. You were unlucky enough to catch them from your friend, Matilda and from the minute they reared their ugly heads, they spread like wildfire! You are very much like your Daddy; laid back and resiliant. Nothing phases you; not even the prospect of being covered head to toe in spots like a dot to dot puzzle. The way you have coped has amazed me.

You are developing a real personality which shines through. You take in everything around you, always alert and nosy. You are quite stubborn, like mummy and you are always trying to tell us how your feeling! You have turned into a real wriggler and Grandad B struggles to dress you anymore as he says you are always determined to escape. A real life little Houdini!

You are very noisy; always making lots of sounds. It's endearing to hear you chat away to yourself. You are going to be an outging little soul, I can tell already. You have found your feet and are mesmorised by them. You have so many toys, too many for a baby, but you are not interested in any of them. Your biggest source of amusement is your feet and attempting to stuff them in your mouth! You are now rolling from tummy to back and from your back to your side however this startles you and you cry!

Up until a few weeks ago, you were sleeping through the night. We thought you were a lazy bones like mummy however, just recently, we've hit a stumbling block and you've started waking once or even twice a night! You little monkey! Fingers crossed that it's just a phase although secretly, I do enjoy our night-time cuddles, as does Daddy who always jumps out of bed so he can see to you first.

Your still a Daddy's boy. I am so in love with the pair of you. You are already best of friends and he has so many plans for you. Just the other week it was snowing and I had to persuade Daddy that taking you sledging was a bad idea! I can already tell that you are both going to cause copius amounts of mischief for me but I will love you all the more.

As always, you know we both love you an unimaginable amount.

Everyone does. It's impossible not to fall in love with you.

Forever & more,

Mummy x

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