Anyway, here goes:
'Off to Leeds with MamaB for some retail therapy. F is home with Daddy so mummy can get some serious shopping done for new clothes!'
'Treating the OH to fillet steak for tea. When I say treating, I'm buying, he's cooking!'
'Steak & chips out the window. Washer exploded, water everywhere & then F projectile vomited. I did what all good wives do; ordered takeway!'
'Just came downstairs to find Mr C feeding F & Mr Ted together. F found is funniest thing ever. #cutedaddy'
' i HATE food shopping with the OH. He costs me a fortune and now i've lost him whilst he's gone in search of butter. He must be milking a cow.'
'Am I terrible if I spend my spare 10 minutes painting my nails rather than putting the washing away? #decisionsdecisions'
'OH is meant to be playing golf but it's pissing it down. He's not answering his phone so I presume he's gone to the pub instead. #takingthepiss'
'I was in a bad mood but my lovely postman has just delivered a tax rebate! #thankf*ckforthat'
'Little F is watching TV. I swear he'll have square eyes by the time he's 2!'
'Mr C offered to wine and dine me at my favourite resteraunt tonight but I stupidly refused in favour of my PJ's and the TV. #gettingold'
'on way to Liverpool to visit the in-laws #joy'
'oh my word I shouldn't be allowed on the roads. I just forgot what side I was meant to drive on and didn't realise till I saw a car!' #tired'
'Sometimes I look at my son and wonder, how can something so smelly come out of something so beautiful?!'
'My mum is the loveliest lady in the world. I've been feeling ill today & she turned up at my house with a massive bunch of flowers!'
'Just writing up 'This Week #5' then it's time for bed, i'm cream crackered!'