My little Chicken (Pox!)

Unfortunately, we have been hit with a case of the Pox this week. Poor F, at the tender age of 20 weeks, now resembles a dot to dot.

He's been very grumpy over the last few weeks, not like himself at all turns out this was all for good reason, the pox were brewing; waiting to rear their ugly heads! 

What started off as a few small spots on his head quickly turned into an abundance all over his body. I'm feeling very sorry for him and in turn, he's feeling sorry for himself!  

When I took him to the GP, the nurse said it was pretty impossible to get the pox at such a young age. Obviously not! My younger brother had it at 3 months which according to my mum, was horrific.

People have said that at least he's had it now. One of my (childless) friends said it was a good thing he'd caught it and we should have a chicken pox party.

As a mummy, no time is a good time for your child to get ill. No mother wants their child ill, even if it is only chicken pox. I take no comfort in the fact that he's caught it young and it is 'out of the way' so to speak.

The only consolation in all of this is that he isn't able to scratch properly, meaning that he shouldn't be left with scars. On the other hand,  he's too young to understand the feeling of itchiness,  resulting in sheer frustration and anguish for him. 

Lots of cuddles seem to be helping and I am enjoying giving them. 

Has anyone else's young baby caught the pox? How did you deal with them? 

When did I become so soft?

Motherhood knocked me sideways.

I don't mean in coping with the mass upheaval and changes that it brings,  I mean the sheer and utter complete devotion that you feel towards this little life.

Sometimes I look at Freddie and I can't believe that I had a part in making him. I see him gurgle and smile and I wonder as to what good I've done in my life to deserve such a blessing.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with the emotion and love I feel towards this tiny little man who I gave birth to less than five months ago. I look at him and I feel as if my heart could burst. He is a gift from God,  greater than I could ever imagine. 

I was driving with my mum the other day and something she said made me laugh. She said that becoming a mummy had turned me into a 'big softie'.

Prior to pregnancy, I was quite thick skinned. I found the sheer concept that my mum could cry at Coronation Street hilarious. I was loving but I just had a firm grip on my emotions.

Now I'm a mother, well I'm an emotional wreck.

The world scares me. I recognise danger so much more now. I read the newspaper and I sob. A boy of four years was brutally murdered just a couple of miles from our front door last week. We have only recently moved; hoping for a better life in a new, more affluent area. We live in a village which is quite well-to-do. Ignorantly I believed that crime wouldn't happen here.

But it does. It happens everywhere and now I am a mother, that terrifies me. The thought of my baby ever growing up and tackling this big wide world alone is horrendous.

Another thing that strikes me since F's birth is the fierce desire to protect him. I could quite easily kill anyone that harmed my precious boy. Coming from someone who wouldn't say boo to a goose prior to giving birth, that extreme hypothetical rage against anyone who would hurt my baby is crazy. My mum described it as a lioness protecting her cubs and it is, I will protect him till the day I die.

This post wasn't meant to be so raw. The inspiration came from the fact that I cried like a baby at Celebrity Big Brother tonight. Coupled with the fact that I wept at a Save the Children advert yesterday,  Mr C is highly amused that I've turned into such a softie after all these years of ridiculing my mother! Once I got writing about my feelings towards my son, they all came flooding out.

Sometimes I worry that I love him too much but I know that is not possible; all mothers feel like this.

This worry comes with being a mummy. I have an understanding with other mothers now and I appreciate that there is always someone worse off than yourself. I think of how I'd feel in their situation and my compassion is greater than ever before.

When I think about it; being a mummy hasn't made me soft. It has made me a better person; more kind, caring, appreciative and compassionate. I am experiencing life without selfishness, for the first time ever. I am also experiencing the greatest love I've ever felt, ever. My love for F has made me into a better person, an emotional wreck and the proudest person there could be 

This Week #3

Here is our week #3. I hope you've all had a lovely week and have been safe in the snow! Read on to find out what Freddie & I have been up to this week.

Monday

Monday is my mums day off so we usually spend the day with her. She has her own business so me & Freddie sometimes spend time with her at work however Monday is normally our day out. We were greeted with snow when we awoke which seemed to excite Mr C no end. Luckily the roads weren't too bad and me and Mama B were able to resume normal procedure of Monday shopping!  Mama B is the queen of Next and owns pretty much the whole shop. We went into our town and Freddie was treated to a few bits ans bobs. Later on, I went to our local farm shop which I love! I stocked up on wood logs for our log burner and we enjoyed a cosy evening in front of it.

Tuesday

Today I attempted to clean my house. We have a small 2 bedroom cottage so its not an enormously big task to clean however today was just not happening. Mr C is still off work as he doesn't have much work on. This time of year is a pain in the proverbial for the joinery trade so he's under my feet at the minute. It's lovely having him home to spend time bonding with his son but it means I am totally out of routine.  

Baby massage was cancelled this week so we spent the afternoon watching films before taking Freddie for his 16 week jabs. It breaks my heart listening to him scream but I know it is for the best. Admittedly,  I did well up a little; afterall, no mummy likes seeing her baby in pain! We spent the evening at my mum's where she made a lovely dinner whilst I did some typing for her business. 

Wednesday

We spent Wednesday with Mama B again. We had a lovely day of shopping. I managed to get Mr C some bargain t-shirts which resulted in a very happy me. After Mr C's chef success last week, he'd invited my mum, dad and cousin over for a meal and he whipped up his speciality of 'Sizzling Beef in Black Bean sauce.' Once again he excelled himself and I was very proud; and glad I didn't have to cook.

Thursday

Today we went for the most lovely walk to a nearby reservoir.  It is truly beautiful and looked even more wonderful in the snow. I got some gorgeous pictures which seem to have set off some sort of photography bug within me. Freddie slept the whole way round but it meant Mr C & I could have some quiet time to chat and relax! We then visited my Nanna & Grandad who were over from the East Coast. It was lovely to catch up with them and for them too see Freddie; they couldn't believe how he had grown.

Friday

I set about giving my house a great clean today. We have a 2 bedroom cottage but in terms of cleaning, it is like a mansion. I kept getting side tracked and playing with Freddie so it took me 6 hours to clean 3 rooms! Ooops! Mama B had asked if she could have Freddie stay overnight so Mr C ventured out in the snow to drop him off. I then enjoyed a lovely candle lit bath with a glass of wine followed by pizza & films with Mr C! 

Saturday & Sunday

We have had another relaxing weekend, mostly consisting of football, shopping & playing with Freddie. We are now watching Dancing on Ice followed by a (very late) Sunday Lunch with chocolate fudge cake.

15 things nobody told me about becoming a mummy.

1. That I would be urinated on, alot. Infact numerous times every day.

2. That I wouldn't mind. Urine, sick or even worse, poo; wierdly enough it doesn't bother me.

3. That lovely shiny pregnancy hair? No one told me that it'd fall out in clumps. In fact, just the other day, Mr C said "your hair WAS lovely and shiny when you were expecting". That man has no tact.

4. That you would know the words to every theme tune on Cbeebies and every nursery rhyme ever invented. What's worse, they seem to stick in your head like glue and you spend hours aimlessly humming them.

5. That all those piles and piles of expensive clothes you bought are useless. They grow so fast that you end up with bags full still with tags!

6. That even though you know they've got too many clothes, you still insist on buying more, simply because they are 'cute'. You walk around in last seasons Primark whilst your child is proudly sported designer chic.

7. That no matter how old they are, everything takes an hour longer than it did pre-child.

8. That no matter how old (or young) they are; they needs lots of 'stuff'. What this 'stuff' is, I'll never know but packing it is what takes that hour longer.

9. That you'll find bibs EVERYWHERE. In every pocket, in every drawer, there will be a bib.

10. That you can never find said 'bib' when you need one.

11. That poo I was talking about in #2? It gets everywhere. For a tiny little person, they don't have go. It always happens at the most convenient times as well, i.e, whilst they are wearing their last change of clothes which happens to be a white baby grow whilst your 20 miles from home.

12. That you forget the pain of labour. Hell, I remember it as a walk in the park. According to Mr C, it wasn't but it as if your body is trained to forget so you can go through it over and over again.

13. You never forget your pre-pregnancy boobs. You will mourn for them as they are never the same again. Think spaniels ears. Only me?

14. You won't mind the fact that your size 10's are a distant memory. (Actually, I haven't been a size 10 since I was about 12 so this doesn't apply to me!) 

15. That you will experience a love you have never felt ever before. Excuse the cliché but it is a love so deep that sometimes it hurts. Like a little piece of your heart that you've never experienced has suddenly flooded open and you know what, no one could have ever told me that; because its undescribable. 

Dear Mr Sainsbury...

Good Evening Mr Sainsbury,

I am taking the time to write this letter to vent my actual frustration. I would much prefer to be sipping my wine, or at least my hot chocolate as I climb into my bed but needs must and I feel that I need to vent; and you sir, you're the 'ventee'.

Unfortunately for you (and my long suffering 'partner' Mr C) I am climbing up high onto my soap box and have taken to my favourite past time, having a rant. The long suffering partner has taken to hiding behind the couch so he doesn't have to listen. He'd sit in the garden but it's snowing; anything to save the earache he says. He's taken a Carling can with him so I'm hoping that I haven't single handed-ly drove him to alcoholism.

So Mr Sainsbury, it's up to you to listen. Count yourself lucky you don't have to live with me. Apparently it's a 'mean feat'. Don't get me wrong, I love your store. I love your chocolate fudge cake. I don't love how it makes my jeans tight and I didn't love the incident when consuming too much made the button ping off my jeans but I do love the fact that I am always lucky enough to find a bargain when I shop in your store. I also love the omelette's you sell in your cafe.

But Mr Sainsbury,  I DO NOT LIKE YOUR PARENT & CHILD PARKING. To a mother with an exceptionally heavy baby who resides in an exceptionally large car seat and the unfortunate mishap of owning a 3 door car, that is a big thing not to like.

In an ideal world I would have my own space. It would be conveniently located right outside the store and permanently reserved for me, preferably under a cover so my hair wouldn't get wet running from car to store and vice versa. The long suffering partner says I expect too much too much of the time. This may be one of those times so I'd happily accept another P&C space along with the other parents.

Although come to think, I'd quite like someone to push my trolley as I have a frequent habit of picking one with a dodgy wheel and I spend the whole time sounding like I have extreme flatulence because of a squeaky wheel. If you could fix that for me, I'd be eternally grateful.

Whilst I'm walking around your store, I am usually trolley dodging a number of wayward, on-the-run children who are making a dash for the overpriced ride which is conveniently (and annoyingly) located near the exit to tempt our children to have a tantrum when we are feeling smug that we have got through an entire shopping trip with no problems. Don't get rid of it though; I use it to bribe my niece into behaving when she comes shopping with me. What she doesn't know is that I never have a pound coin and the poor child sits on the ride whilst I dance around making it as fun as possible without it actually moving. 

With all these children, it makes sense that the majority of your customers are parents. Therefore, common sense would prevail that you would need more than six P&C spaces within your car park. P&C spaces have been a god send since becoming a mother 4 months ago. That is, when I can find one.

P&C spaces mean that I have extra room at the side of the car to take my son out of the car. They provide me with the space to assemble my pram in a safe zone rather than in the middle of the car park because luck'll have it that I'll have forgotten to put the brake on and as I turn my back to lock the door, my pram is rolling down the car park.

They also mean that I do not have to scratch the paintwork on the 62' plate Audi that is, always, without fail parked right next to me when there is only one space left in the car park hence saving me an argument which I usually blame on my pregnancy hormones. (Do you still have pregnancy hormones four months after birth?) It also saves my son having to grow up with the prospect of hearing every possible expletive known to man because his lousy driver mother can not get into a normal sized parking space.

What would also make my life easier is if you patrolled and enforced these spaces. The reason I need a M&C space is not because I'm too lazy to walk; it's because I need the extra space either side of the space. For mothers with two children, it means that they have somewhere safe to stand whilst they are getting their other child out the car, meaning that they are not venturing off across the busy car park in search of that god forsaken ride.

Does a mother with a 12 year old 'child' need this extra space? Does a 17 year old boy racer who has come to stock up on his White Lightening and Clearasil need this extra space? I think you'll agree not.

If I was to park in a disabled bay, I would receive a hefty fine. Why does the same not apply for people who violate the rules of P&C spaces?

My local Sainsbury's is patrolled by a car park attendant and the other day, I proceeded to vent my issues with him. I told him that Clearasil kid was parked in a P&C space and he went on to tell me there is nothing he can do as Clearasil may have been picking up a child. The reason he couldn't do anything was because he was playing Angry Birds on his phone. I'm almost certain Clearasil hadn't even reached puberty yet, never mind fathered any mini Clearasil's.

How about you sack the Angry Bird attendant and invest the money in more P&C spaces. You could even donate some to my 'bigger car' fund so I could afford a 5 door car, making it easier for me to get my car seat out. It would save a whole load of earache for Mr C (and the Audi drivers) and it'd mean that I'd be at your store much more often buying that delicious fudge cake of yours.

Let me know your thoughts. 

Kind Regards

Jess  xx

P.S - I accept cash, cheque and card donations towards my 'bigger car' fund, if you were wondering.

Disclaimer: I haven't actually sent this letter to Mr Sainsbury, instead he will have the pleasure of reading a 'grown up' letter with lots of big words; written in my bestest Parker pen, in a hope of receiving lots of Nectar points, or possibly free fudge cake for life!

Oh Baby it's cold outside.

The majority of the country have been greeted with snow at some point this week. Love it or hate it; you have to admit it makes everything look that little prettier. Admittedly I am a member of a latter group, normally I HATE snow. It disrupts day to day running and turns a small job into a death defying mission but when it's unspoilt, snow is picturesque. 

Sometimes the most beautiful things are right in front of you. Take the time to look and you'll see.

Time flies whilst you're having fun...

Today I was flicking through my phone and came across a picture that I just had to share. (If you follow me on Twitter,  I apologise because you may have seen it before, if you don't follow me; do! @awhole9months) 

So before I digress any further... here it is.

This picture was taken exactly 19 weeks ago today when Freddie was a mere tender 1 day old. Even though he was a big baby at 10lbs 1.5oz, this picture made me remember how tiny he used to be in comparison to how he is now.

At the time I found the picture, coincidence may have it that Freddie was laid on his play mat watching TV and I couldn't resist taking a photograph to compare.

So here he is; 19 weeks & 1 day.

19 weeks is no time at all but seeing these pictures side by side, every minute of those 19 weeks has made a massive difference to my boy.

Looking at these reinforced the fact that every second is precious. Tomorrow Freddie will be another day older and that's another day towards the day he'll no longer need me.

Now where is that stop button?