Sunday, 30 December 2012

What a Difference a Day Makes...

Or in fact a year!

This time last year, I had taken a pregnancy test and after those two minutes were up, I was greeted with this.

I have posted before about how I turned up in the pub carpark where Mr C was obliviously watching football and drink copious amounts of ale, clutching a positive test desperate to tell him our happy news.

That was exactly 365 days ago. We drove home excitedly chatting about what was to become. Would we have a girl or a boy? Who would they look like? What would they be when they were older? Would we be good parents? Would our baby be OK? That journey was the most surreal of my life. Looking back, I was certainly in no fit state to be in control of a car! 

That night, exactly a year ago, we imagined everything our baby was going to be. Tonight, as I kissed his forehead as I laid him into his cot, I realised. We couldn't have even begun to imagine how perfect our son would be. There was no way we could have estimated how much we would love him. He has surpassed every expectation we ever had. 

That night, we made a pact. We would love our baby with every inch of our being, with every cell in our body and beat in our hearts. And we do, we could not imagine life without him in it.

These days, every day makes a difference. Pre-Freddie, most days blurred into one. Work through the week, wine at the weekends. No day ever really stood out. Now everyday is to be cherished.  

I wake in a morning and look at him and I swear that he's got that little not bigger. Every day he turns into more of an actual person; a little man with the most amazing personality. 

17 weeks ago today, I was laid in a hospital bed, to terrified to sleep because I was watching over this...

Today, only 17 weeks later, this is the handsome little man who I kissed goodnight. I'll still check on him in the night, but I most definitely get a lot more sleep than I did that first night when I watched over my newborn son.

In the space of a year, we've gone from positive pregnancy test to this. How time flies. Our lives have been turned upside down since this time last year, they've been a whirlwind but I wouldn't change a second.

I want to stop time now. I want to encapsulate my little man and keep him and this tender age now. It scares me how time runs away with us. I blink and he's that second older. He can now laugh, he babbles away, he's beginning to sit on his own and today, we ventured into the world of solid food. 

I will love him every second. Cherish every moment. I cannot begin to imagine what our lives will be like this time next year but I know for sure, with Freddie, it's bound to be a whole lot of fun! 

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