I'm sorry I've been a crappy friend...

I only really have 2 close 'friends'. I have friends who I went to University with who live in different parts of the country, I have friends who I know via Mr C who I've enjoyed many a double date with and I have mummy friends within my village who I know through baby groups that I may bump into from time to time.

But in terms of actual, let them see me make-up free slobbed in my 'jama's and know all my biggest secret friends, I only really have two. 

Both of these friends are wonderful. We've been friends for around 15 years and have enjoyed and embraced some amazing times as a trio. 

I've grown up with these girls and they have most definitely influenced who I am, they have been like sisters and are the sort of friends that know EVERYTHING; things that I wouldn't dream of telling anyone else. 

So although we are all best of friends, recently since the birth of Fred, I've felt guilty that I've been a rubbish friend! I never realised how time-consuming a small child was until I was blessed with my hyperactive whirlwind of joy.

I was beginning to beat myself up about it (typical of me!) but when I really thought about it, I realised that I don't really care! Terrible of me isn't it!? 

As the only mother of the group, I have a totally different way of life to my friends. They both work stressful long hour jobs and spend their weekends winding down with wine. I spend my days chasing Fred round the house and winding up his favourite toy. I then spend my weekends working long days so really, I don't have time to fart, nevermind be the social butterfly that I once was.

Truth is, my priorities have changed now. If I get a spare minute where I don't have bean juice on my jumper or a screaming child hanging off my thigh, I normally want to take 5 to have a breather. 

One of my dearest friends, (bless her heart!) asked me what I was dressing up as for Halloween, just the other day. To my absolute amusement and her bewilderness, I told her that my days of clubbing dressed as a devil are well and truly over and I would be taking Fred to a party whilst he dressed as a vampire and I frantically chased round after him like a blue arsed fly. 

Sad as it is, I can't be an awesome Mum and the friend I once was. When I was 18, I was the life and soul of our trio; first on the dance floor, always the most drunk and usually the one making a fool out of my self. I can't be this awesome friends anymore, I'm too busy doing a chicken dance or making a fool of myself for Fred's pleasure.

I can be the best friend I possibly can, sometimes long distance or over the phone. Sometimes they'll have to hold the line while I retrieve the gold fish from the toilet or untangle a small child from the curtains but I'm there for them to listen whilst they tell me about their most recent Topshop purchases or who's sleeping with who's boyfriend. 

Their lives are so far apart from mine now but I remember how we used to be. I understand that they don't have as many responsibilities or (welcome!) restraints as me and I hope they understand, as I've told them many a time, one day they'll both be in the same boat and we'll be a trio again.

And on the bright side, when it's their turn one day when they are blessed with a horror like mine and I hear 'I'll have to call you back, he's eating the dog biscuits" then rather than being annoyed, I'll have a slight little chuckle and think 'I told you so.'